The Ranch 2013

6/25/2013

Dad-For The Win!

Well, as you can see by the photo, Xander was quite happy to be finally reunited with his long-lost best bud Alex. (What you might not be able to tell is that he [Xander] asked me to wait a moment before taking the pic to furtively wipe a tear away.) Sometime this evening, Xander had for some reason left his stuffed animal in the TV room.

At least that was his (Alex's) story.

Not easy to come out the hero here at the Ranch. Seems my whole job is to say No! to my son.  He really would like nothing more than to occupy 98.4+% of his grandmother's time. Intellectually, he understands that Grandpa Harold needs a lot of help but the scope of the job is really beyond him. And so it's up to me to remind him 10-12 times a day to not add to Tutu's work. Just this morning.  it was that he should have been just as enthusiastic for the pizza option as the hamburger option. Tutu can just buy one but has to make the other. Imagine hearing something like that from your old man over and over.

And over....

He would get the idea VERY quickly were Harold to collapse to the floor (again) or something else similarly traumatic but I don't really want Xander to have to learn this lesson right now. So, he'll just have to put up with the World's Lamest Parent destroying all his hopes and dreams.

And, of course, the entire Ranch is "base"; where his person is sacrosanct and little things like manners and acceptable speech go outta the dang window.

Pester me not with your trivial concerns, old uptight man. Tutu and I must discuss the vital matter of squirrel traps. Begone! I say.

And all I want to do is reach across the dinner table is grab him by the collar and scream, "Close your #%!*¥! mouth when you eat, you pig!!" But that wouldn't be cool. At least with the M-I-L in the room. So I just try to encode positive reminders in the strained looks I give him after he has interrupted us or put his feet up on his chair for the killionth* time.

On the plus side, we have finally started reading "Eddie Dickens" and, as a favorite book reviewer promised, it's hysterical.

And we saw a moose tonight. Out in the pasture. All these years in the Valley and till last year, I just thought they were really buff deer.

Oh, and the Lionel Richie CD playing during dinner time got off track and "Hello" suddenly sounded like it was coming from the Pits of Hell. Well, more than normal. This was something only I could enjoy. Xander doesn't know what true 80s Soft Rock is supposed to sound like. Harold can't hear for squat and Tina tunes it out 'cause she hates bland music playing throughout the house. Has for decades.

Clearly, she did not imbue her daughter with the same suffer in silence mindset.

So anyway, I liked Lucifer Richie, the moose and finding my son's teddy bear. Just tomorrow has further thrills in store.

'Night!

The Hero Brian

* A number so big, it can be fatal to understand how big it is.

Sent from anyplace in Winthrop I can find with wi-fi.