The Most Awfulest Time of The Year
12/28/2005
Okay, so maybe “awefullest” isn’t a word but you get the idea. We just got back from Winthrop a few hours ago. The previous 5 days in Winthrop were not fun. Why, you ask? The number one reason was a stomach flu which first hit Xander at 4:00 AM on Thursday. Either fortunately or unfortunately (your call) his sleep area was only a few feet away from our bed in Wendi’s room so we were right there when it happened. You’ve never seen a kid look so startled to vomit.
We got him cleaned up as best we could but then the explosive diarrhea started. One moment-calm baby. The next moment-POOF! Insta-crap everywhere. His lil’ Pampers Cruisers just couldn’t hold it all so Xander got the great pleasure of taking lots of baths.
Starting Thursday night, we all started falling like dominos at about 12 hour intervals. First me. Then Wendi. Then Holly’s oldest stepson Zac (17), then Harold (too old to count). And finally Hunter (5). The final two hadn’t completely recovered by the time we left this morning.
Tina, Keaton and Holly and Bill all remained germ-free. That latter two claimed their many screwdrivers consumed throughout the day would protect them and apparently, it worked.
Despite all arguments for a Just and Loving Supreme Being, Java the dog remained perfectly healthy.
The only good thing about this Noel Plague is that for everyone under 80, the sickness lasted under 24 hours but oh, what a memorable 24 hours. I can say without exaggeration that from noon to midnight on the 23rd was the worst 12 hours of my life. I couldn’t even walk from the bed to the toilet without having to take a little lie-down halfway between.
Wendi’s experience with concurrent explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting was simply too graphic to discuss in polite company. Let’s just say there was a lot of nasty, nasty laundry to do and anyone besides Tina would have said, “Eeeeew! You take care of it, losers!”
Okay, another bright side to this dark cloud is that we are certainly going to be below the 8 pound weight gain for the average American over the holiday season. Adkins and Southbeach got nothing on spending a day trying to decide which end to point at the toilet bowl.
The official mascot for Christmas 04 is the bucket that several of us took to carrying “just in case”. I took some nice pictures with the idea that maybe it would make a nice Christmas Card photo 12 months hence.
So anyway, the Wife, Son and I are glad to be home. Talking with Tina this evening, Harold is up and about and Konnosan had come by soon after we left with latex gloves and gallons of Lysol. She then spent most of the day disinfecting every portion of the Ranch House she could reach.
Well, hope the rest of your holidays go well. Take care and wash your hands. A lot.
Brian (of Brian, Wendi and Xander fame)
