Alaskan Saga 2019 - Part 4
8/3/2019
Maritime Detritus
Time: 5:31 AM
Distance from Seattle: About a Foot
Pants Conditions: Rather Snug
The week at sea is quickly coming to an end and we are pleased with how things turned out, especially the weather. However, there are a few things we will do differently for our next trip, whenever that may be. They are listed below along with just some miscellaneous insights on the cruising world; specifically, this voyage to Alaska but maybe they translate to luxury liners as a whole.
No doubt, many of you folks; especially the frequent cruisers, already know these things.
Lanyards Are Great; I'm Bringing Them Back!
When packing, do a careful socks/underwear count.
If there is a "Cruise TV Channel': it might have your steward's name listed.
A steward is the dude (or dudette) who cleans your room. Just learned this morning ours is named Felipe. He knew my name right away; I shouldn’t have taken 6 days to learn his. My guilt shall be his generous tip.
Glasses are small. Pack both your "everyday walking around" pair and the "reading fine print in the evening" ones.
The shower nozzle on the left is water temperature. The one on the right is water pressure.
The term for a heavily burdened husband, usually found in a ring around the $10 sale counter is a "shopping sherpa".
There is a card slot just inside the cabin door which turns the cabin's power on and off. When your steward removes and takes this card, (because it's actually his), YOUR cruise card (which you keep on your lanyard ('cause your cool!) will also serve this circuit breaker purpose…
Knowing this will prevent you from feeling like a complete moron when you angrily call the operator about your room's lack of power.
Every single Norwegian Cruise is (insert positive adverb) unique.
A seagull landing on your balcony really isn't cause to scream.
The Spa was, with its up-selling, the most high-pressure part of the cruise. File under "Ironic".
The little fish woven into the hallway carpets all swim towards the FRONT of the boat.
In this same vein, there are 2 coordinations you need to know in order to find your way around. The elevation as represented by the deck number. And the front to back, which is delineated using "fore", "midship': and "aft".
I was a really stupid Coastie.
The automatic toilets flush at random times. And a with a shocking amount of suction.
Having your own coffee mug; a commuter-type with a lid, will allow you to carry a man-size amount of liquid around the ship. All cruise provided liquid containers are espresso-sized.
A mother can carry full two plates and a drink if she must. A father can do the same if he's just really mildly hungry.
When your spouse takes the time to get gussied up for the evening, take the time to compliment her (or him).
Cruise lines are terrified of infectious diseases. You will be spritzed with sanitizer upon boarding and at all meals. (In theory, this is voluntary.) Plus, there are sanitizer stations (which I'm calling SaniStations!) everywhere. Finally, there are helpful "Wash Often" signs at every sink.
Seeing the buffet at peak hours, I am sympathetic to this mindset. I eventually worked out a "Left Hand for Food/Right Hand for Everything Else" strategy. I call this strategy a "Reverse Bedouin".
Huge luxury liners may have 15 different gift shops selling every Alaska-branded merchandise conceivable, but they don't sell deodorant.
You do not need to sign up for activities the first day.
When one of the huge selling points of your cruise is to see one of Alaska's majestic glaciers, you would be very stupid to schedule your facial during this time. Very stupid indeed.
Unlike the now trendy lanyards, fanny packs are passé and near impossible to find in our 49th state.
For those nice meals, at the fancy restaurant, pack a dress shirt that actually fits.
Even with a prepaid adult beverages pass, making all your drinks free, scotch still isn't worth it.
Trying to save money by buying a limited amount of (slooow assed) internet minutes (250, say) will actually end up costing MUCH more that buying an unlimited number of (slooow-assed) internet minutes.
The only useful answer to a salesperson's fake friendly question,
"Where you folks from?" is "That elevator."
There are nuts and seeds in everything.
And perhaps most important of all, even if you've got something wrapped and ready to present at home AND it requires a second piece of luggage, bring an anniversary gift.